Listen

“Sometimes problems can’t be fixed but they need to be heard.” Those words were the words of a pastor friend of mine that were a great comfort to me...

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. (Romans 12:14-15, ESV)

...I had been having a difficult time at the seminary and with issues in my family. I sought counsel from a pastor friend. He listened quietly, waited for pauses to ask questions and clarify things, nodded along, and then said, “Sometimes problems can’t be fixed, but they need to be heard.” He could not fix what I was feeling and experiencing, and he could not make the problems go away, but he was able to offer an open heart, a listening ear, and words of scripture and prayer as he joined me in carrying those concerns to the Lord in prayer.

Those words have also become a little light for me when I am offering counsel to people who come to me for pastoral care. Often, I do not know what to say or do. One thing pastors — and many others — have in common is that we want to fix problems. We are problem solvers (at least in our minds). But then I remember three things:

1. We are not called to save or fix people. Only God can save us, and only God can restore what is broken in our lives.
2. We cannot always fix the problems that we see friends, family, parishioners, or neighbors going through, but we can bring their burdens to the foot of the Cross in prayer.
3. God is always working on us as we study, seek counsel, and serve His people to grow us into the people He wants us to be.

I think that is what St. Paul means in our reading today when he encourages us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice,” and to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:14 ESV). Notice that He does not say, “Make the weeping rejoice and ignore their trials,” nor does he say, “fix those who are grieving.” First, emotions are a natural response to our lives and experiences. Our emotions are not something to be ashamed of or ignored. And secondly, sometimes emotions need to be heard before any progress can happen. Ultimately, what people often need, what you and I often need, is just someone who can show compassion, someone who can suffer and rejoice with us, someone who will show that they love us when love and acceptance are what we so desperately need.

The important thing to do is to listen to understand rather than listen to respond. Sometimes people will need our help to solve a problem. But sometimes, what people need is to be heard. Careful and active listening can help to determine which is needed.

In other words, ministering to people's needs often takes a lot of humility. It will often require us to let go of “being wise in your [our] own sight” (Romans 12:15 ESV) and learning how to actively listen to understand and ask good questions. Then, you can join them in carrying their needs to Jesus in prayer.

We can bring our needs to Jesus in prayer because Jesus became like us. Jesus was tempted, Jesus grieved the death of those He loved, Jesus experienced isolation as His friends abandoned Him and as He hung upon the Cross. Jesus was tempted, though without sin. All of that means that Jesus knows what it is like to suffer and to experience trial. But He also shows us that He has conquered death, suffering, and hell for us. As the author of Hebrews tells us: “Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people” (Hebrews 2:17 ESV).

So, what can you and I take away from this message? As we go about our daily lives, we likely meet people who have all kinds of needs, who are broken, grieving, struggling with their sins, and/or with the ways others have sinned against them.

Do not feel burdened like you need to take the weight of the world on your shoulders, carry them away, and fix the world. It is not your job, and it is not my job to do that. Do you know who has carried our burdens, sins, and pain? It is Jesus, our crucified and risen Lord.

So what can we do? We can listen, show that we care about them, let them know we are there when they need us, and then bring the problem with them to the foot of the cross and (I might add) to the empty tomb in prayer. In other words, we can offer a listening ear and an open heart and share the good news of Jesus with them both in our conversations and prayers.

Let us pray: Almighty God, Father of mercies and God of all comfort, deal graciously with all who mourn that, casting every care on You, they may know the consolation of Your love in Jesus Christ our Lord. Grant to us also listening ears, tender hearts, and spirits ready to listen to those who need to share their grief and sorrow with others. Grant us wisdom to know when we are needed to help fix something and when those around us simply need someone to listen. Fill us also with Your Holy Spirit that we may bring all things to our crucified, risen, and ascended Lord in prayer. In the Holy name of Jesus. Amen! ¹

Yours in Yeshua,

Reverend Jordan Peiser

¹ This prayer is adapted from The Pastoral Prayer Companion. (Concordia Publishing House: St. Louis, MO. 2007), 255.

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